My journey from the darkness of a verbally abusive relationship, towards that dim light at the end of the tunnel. Right now it feels very far away. – 3/17/2015
This is definitely an endurance race, if ever there was one. Nearly three months. I’m getting stronger, going to counseling, and surrounded by people who want what is best for me. Who want me to be happy. I am still struggling with anxiety and hyper-vigilance, and that will take time. But, that light doesn’t seem so far away as it once did.
And to think, when all this started, all I wanted was a good night’s sleep. –
Physical Therapy for the Soul: The last six months have been an exercise in learning to trust people again. Learning that I don’t have to be the strongest, that I can have my moments of weakness. I’ve fallen a few times in the past few months, and each time someone was there to catch me and help me back onto my feet.
Divorce is not yet final, but we are getting closer. I will be very relieved when it is done. – 8/12/2015
Life is full and vibrant, and this will be my first holiday since getting married where I don’t have to fret over any one else’s emotions. I can just relax and enjoy myself. Be myself.
I’m making choices, forming relationships, and striking out in new directions in so many aspects of my life now. Ex is dragging his feet regarding settling the divorce, but all the major items are separate enough for now. – 11/20/2015
Freedom! – 1/2016
“Your eyes are smiling again, I missed that.” My mom mentioned the other day, studying me with a thoughtful, relieved air. It is amazing to me how much of a physical toll that stress, anxiety and emotional pain can take on a person.
There are still hard moments. But they are not exactly the day to day difficulties of coping like they were at first. In the beginning, it was ‘One minute at a time’. Then an hour. Then a day. Then a whole month! When my divorce was finally finalized in January, it was as if a gate to my future swung wide before me, and the shackles on my ankles finally fell free.
I have to keep reminding myself that healing is a journey, and a process. The more I spread my wings, the more I run into new situations that push and test my boundaries and anxiety. This year will have many opportunities for me to grow, and… I am starting to believe I really am up for the challenge. – 2/5/2016