About

My journey from the darkness of a verbally abusive relationship, towards that dim light at the end of the tunnel. Right now it feels very far away. 3/17/2015

This is definitely an endurance race, if ever there was one. Nearly three months. I’m getting stronger, going to counseling, and surrounded by people who want what is best for me. Who want me to be happy. I am still struggling with anxiety and hyper-vigilance, and that will take time. But, that light doesn’t seem so far away as it once did.

And to think, when all this started, all I wanted was a good night’s sleep. –
4/30/2015

Physical Therapy for the Soul: The last six months have been an exercise in learning to trust people again. Learning that I don’t have to be the strongest, that I can have my moments of weakness. I’ve fallen a few times in the past few months, and each time someone was there to catch me and help me back onto my feet.

Divorce is not yet final, but we are getting closer. I will be very relieved when it is done. – 8/12/2015

Life is full and vibrant, and this will be my first holiday since getting married where I don’t have to fret over any one else’s emotions. I can just relax and enjoy myself. Be myself.

I’m making choices, forming relationships, and striking out in new directions in so many aspects of my life now. Ex is dragging his feet regarding settling the divorce, but all the major items are separate enough for now. – 11/20/2015

Freedom! –  1/2016

“Your eyes are smiling again, I missed that.” My mom mentioned the other day, studying me with a thoughtful, relieved air. It is amazing to me how much of a physical toll that stress, anxiety and emotional pain can take on a person.

There are still hard moments. But they are not exactly the day to day difficulties of coping like they were at first. In the beginning, it was ‘One minute at a time’. Then an hour. Then a day. Then a whole month! When my divorce was finally finalized in January, it was as if a gate to my future swung wide before me, and the shackles on my ankles finally fell free.

I have to keep reminding myself that healing is a journey, and a process. The more I spread my wings, the more I run into new situations that push and test my boundaries and anxiety. This year will have many opportunities for me to grow, and… I am starting to believe I really am up for the challenge. – 2/5/2016

 

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7 thoughts on “About

  1. Hi Friend
    Thank you for following me, I truly appreciate you. Like you I’ve had many challenges, thankfully not the divorce track. We’re kindred spirits, I could hear you voice and inflection reading the post to me. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading your post, I’ll be back.
    It’s a nice surprise to meet someone you feel you know.
    M

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have never met a strong person with an easy past. I want you to know that I was there too, I walked the same path as you… And a year later I was a changed man. The light at the end of the tunnel will shine upon you faster than you might think.

    I wish you well with your path to recovery. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other, and you will succeed!

    Havoc

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou Havoc, some days that light seems far away, and others I feel I can almost… almost… reach it. Four months in and I am only just now realizing how far I have yet to go to be whole again. One step at a time, good advice. 🙂

      Was reading your blog and appreciated your insights, you are a talented writer.

      Like

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