Reflections on what I deserve

“You deserve better.”

The ultimate masculine cop-out, quite apropo for someone with low self-esteem who isn’t sure what they want.

I have wrestled with this comment for weeks, wondering why it rankled me so. With my ex-husband, it was a compliment fishing expedition. A game I no longer play. This time, though, it came across as noncommittal as the rest of our brief relationship.

Yesterday my thoughts finally resolved. I don’t necessarily deserve better, because that implies my wants don’t factor into the equation. What I deserve? Is someone’s best.

Not perfection. Not catering to my needs at the expense of their own. Not treating me like a delicate work of art that will shatter at a glance. But a chance to be known and to know someone who wants to share and work towards that best self.

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